my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
