a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize