the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
