today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Randomize
