I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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