Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Randomize
