I seem to have left my pride at pride
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
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