Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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