Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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