Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
