she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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