i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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