hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
