Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
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