I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
