I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize