Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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