I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
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