The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
