are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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