the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Randomize
