The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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