he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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