Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize
