If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
