That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
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