Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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