is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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