I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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