i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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