You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize