At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
