it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Randomize
