hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
