i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize