remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Randomize
