Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
