Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
