I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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