Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Do you still have your period?
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
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