cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
