No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize