We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
