I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
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