he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
