Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
