you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I wish you could order shots online.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
