I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
