Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
