No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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