But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
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