Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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