I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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