Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Randomize
