Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Randomize
