Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
