ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
