just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Randomize
