i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
