I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
worst night to have a conscience
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Randomize
