Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
