and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
